


Window Watchers

by Replica_Jester



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Commentating, F/M, NSFW, Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5230235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Replica_Jester/pseuds/Replica_Jester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang find themselves enjoying the view as they stumble across an intimate encounter between Cullen and Trevelyan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Window Watchers

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Le jardin dans la nuit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5117945) by [felandaris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felandaris/pseuds/felandaris). 



> For Felandaris, to co-exist along the otherside of the glass from Cullen and Trevelyan in "Le jardin dans la nuit"

Dorian glanced over at movement beyond the window. Had the shadows been fleeting, he may have just wandered past. Yet...no. Those were not mere shadows. Persons, rather, standing particularly close. He retraced his steps backwards to the edge of the curtains, and ever so discreetly peeked out. Barely lit by the orange and purple glow of the sunset was unmistakably the Commander...with the Inquisitor.

Dorian muffled a gasp with a slap of his glove to his own mouth. He indulged himself for a moment longer. He really shouldn't...but since he was already there, truly, what harm was there in this? Nothing more than innocent curiosity sated by an endearing surprise.

“Enjoying the view, Sparkler?”

Dorian quickly dropped the curtain, but a glance toward the dwarf nudged his insides. “You could say that. Varric, I think I may have gotten to know the champagne a little too well. Tell me, do you see what I see?”

Varric casually walked up and pressed his face to the sheer silk curtains. “Well, well, well…isn't that Curly? And...”

“Yes, our very own darling Inquisitor,” Dorian finished. “Locked in a rather intimate embrace. His hands are rather busy, aren't they?”

Varric withdrew a low gasp. “Well, he took _that_ off rather quick.”

“I'll say. _Oh!_ Please tell me you're adding this to the Commander's biography. You have a good memory, I assume? And she's free as a bird! Odd. She looks bigger in her armor. And _ohh!_ ” Dorian let escape a giggle. “I think she rather likes the Commander greasing the wheels.”

“Quickly, Dorian! Tell me what color her nipples are!” Varric hissed. “I can't find an opening fast enough without giving myself away. This is vital to the story!”

“I always _knew_ I liked you.” Dorian peeked out again. “Hm...pink, maybe a tad on the dark side, but they clash horridly in the sunset. You'll have to come up with a more clever shade, I'm afraid.”

“Trade me places,” Varric rushed, physically moving Dorian by the waist.

“What are you two Peeking Wanks doin'?”

“It's Peeping Toms,” Dorian corrected. “And Sera? My dear, I think you'd rather enjoy this.” Dorian reached out and swung her to the window.

“Sparkler!” Varric nudged him.

“Maker's breath, man! You'll suffocate yourself!” Dorian hissed to Cullen, not actually wanting to be seen, though.

“What?” Sera pressed her face hard against the window and cupped her hands around her eyes to shield the interior lights from the view. She made a noise between a snort and a squeal. “Is that – _no!”_ Sera laughed low.

“I – wow, he has a really wide mouth. I'm actually impressed,” Varric said. “Dorian, do you see how he's moving his tongue? I'm not tall enough to get a decent view. Is he going in circles or just flicking?

Dorian peered harder. “I believe he's doing a little of both. And a lot of sucking.” He sighed, “That man has been a torture in my life since I first laid eyes on his crotch from the side.”

“Cully-Wully!” She tugged on Dorian's sleeve with a little jump. Then, _“oh..._ well, he looks rather good at that.” Sera started to rub one of her own nipples over her ridiculous ball attire.

“She's looking! Quick! Hide!” Varric ripped Dorian from the window and Dorian ripped Sera.

For a moment, the three of them just stood there with their backs to the window, pretending like they just happened to be there. Before Dorian knew it, Sera was missing. He and Varric turned to find her trying to blend in with the curtains.

“Get back over here quick! He's goin' in the back end!” Sera muttered fiercely, waving them closer. Dorian beat Varric to the window, but Varric shoved him out of the way to peek from the corner.

Dorian accidentally let out a groan. “All right, I have a confession. This stays between us, and only us and I'm assuming anyone else you decide to tell, Sera. I do rather envy the Inquisitor's back side.”

Sera giggled. “You hear that, Varric? That'll make a juicy chapter all in itself!”

“You can hardly blame me, though. Look at the way his hands travel. Oh, to _feel_ that. I bet his hands are callused, too. They have to be, all those hours spent training...to be those thighs he -” Dorian paused to put a hand over his heart. “He's dropped his pants right in front of me...”

“It's all right, Dorian, I'm here if you need someone to lean on.”

“You are a true friend, Sera.”

“I can only presume the three of you are watching something you shouldn't be,” a calm voice stated.

“You might like it, Chuckles. It's right up the alley of someone who only likes to watch,” Varric teased.

“Oh, those arms. I bet he has stamina for days,” Dorian practically panted.

“It's Quizzy and Cullen,” Sera giggled to Solas.

“I'll pass,” Solas told them, yet he didn't hurry his walk.

“Dorian!” Dorian and Sera gripped each others' arms, Sera's bottom wiggling when the Inquisitor's did.

“She seems to be asking for it," Varric observed.

Sera let out a laugh. “You don't shove your ass at someone to _ask_ for it!” Solas stole a glance that didn't go unnoticed by Varric.

“Oh! The Commander means business tonight,” Dorian said. “Do you think she likes that?”

Sera squeaked. “Solas! He ripped 'em clear off!” Solas froze in mid-step with a curious look toward the window.

“Ripped what off?” Solas asked.

“Get over here and look, Solas. I believe we have a better view from this side,” Dorian suggested.

“Her smalls. Oh, Curly, you bad, bad man,” Varric chuckled.

“Oh, no, is he really--? He did...”

Sera yelped an involuntary mewl, her knees buckling together. Dorian took a tight grip on her back to pull her back to her feet.

Solas approached the window with a frown. Then he pressed his face right into to the glass. “Is that his…?”

“His tongue? Wiggling and fucking right through her peach?” Sera offered, moaning with a wiggle of her own hips.

“I was going to say _face,_ but I suppose that will do...” Solas squinted and covered his eyes from the lights.

“Good heavens, Sera! Stand still! You're going to bring the curtains down!” Dorian hissed.

“I can't help it!” Sera said. “You and me together, yeah? We'll bust through and each get one!”

“What are you all doing?” Cassandra asked from behind them. “Is there a fight?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Solas answered.

“ _Those long nights of practice now proved vital. Her breasts hung heavy and plump from the open cusp of her dress. From behind, he spread her cheeks -”_

Dorian and Sera whined and leaned on each other for support.

“Varric, what in the…?”

“Shh!” Solas hissed to the Seeker. “We can't hear.”

Varric continued, _“and as the Commander_ _torturously_ _laps her up, he indulges her with_ _tha_ _t_ _familiar hum, the same one he makes when he devours honey rolls or sips hot cocoa on the battlements at night-"_

"I pray I don't catch him doing that from now on," Solas spoke.

_"They are the sounds of him eating away at the Inquisitor's...”_

“Peach!” Sera offered in a fevered drawl.

“Nah. Quim sounds better,” Varric shook his head.

“Varric!” Cassandra scolded.

“No, it doesn't! Peach is better! Peaches are soft and fuzzy and _dripping_ with nectar. That's obviously what's going on _here,”_ Sera argued.

“Sera, really!” Cassandra pressed her face to the covered window and gasped. She took a step back with wide eyes.

“Chuckles, what do you think? Peach or quim?” Varric asked.

Solas cocked his head in thought. “Peach can only properly describe an elven female. Hairless, you must know this already.”

“Fuzzy. _Fuzzy,”_ Sera insisted. “Really, Solas, there's no _fuzz_ in the Fade?” Solas shot her a glare.

“Hairless? _Everywhere_? Even the men?” Dorian asked in interest.

“This cannot be appropriate...” Cassandra muttered.

“ _Yes_ , Dorian, even the men,” Solas said dully. “Back to your question, Varric. Quim works. Stick with that. Cassandra, can you do something about these lights? They're making it hard to see.”

Dorian slapped Sera's hand away from her between her legs when the Inquisitor's cries pushed through the window. “Please! If I can't, then neither can you!” he hissed at her.

“You could if you wanted to!” Sera hissed back.

“ _Not_ in front of _you!”_

“ _...the sounds of him eating away at the Inquisitor's..._ no, let's go with...maiden?” Varric asked.

“ _Love_ sounds more respectful if you're going to mention the Inquisitor,” Solas offered.

“ _-at his Love's quim,”_ Varric resumed his auditory outline of the chapter he would call _Love on the Battlefield , “He pulls back, only to replace his mouth with a thumb that meets her dripping -”_

“Peach,” Sera interjected.

“ _Peach,”_ Varric accepted, _“swirling in moisture as the digit glides up towards her...towards her...”_

They could have heard a pin drop from the Fade, with the silence so thick between them. Even Cassandra was peeking again. “Dorian's about to faint!” Sera clucked.

“Our Commander is a...he knows how to...” Dorian pressed harder into the window.

“He seems to know how indeed,” Solas said. “Ah, good. Teasing her first. Circles are good. I was starting to worry for a moment. _O_ _h,_ and in he goes!” he grinned. Dorian's knees weakened with a quiver of his groin.

“Solas, I promise you right now, if you don't stop talking like that, you will wake up beside me tomorrow,” Dorian assured. Varric chuckled and Sera cackled, and Solas even gave a smirk.

“We should not be watching this,” yet Cassandra didn't bother moving from the window. She scoffed. “Who is charge of these devilish lights?” she hissed.

“Would you like me to finish describing it to you?” Varric grinned.

“Please,” said the four of them in unison.

“ _The Commander has clearly done this before. He hits at least a hundred hidden points of pleasure, alternating between indolent dips and rough prods -”_

“What we _both_ need,” Dorian muttered to Sera, who slapped him through a shiver down her spine.

“ _She hisses at his mercy, the Commander already steps ahead of her pleas. He claims her in his -”_

“What is going on over _here?_ Have any of you seen the Commander? Cassandra, we have been looking all over for you, what have you been doing?” Leliana's voice startled them so much that Solas had to clamp his hand over Cassandra's mouth muffle her cry. Every sort of _Maker_ or _heavens_ or _ancestors_ have mercy on them if Cullen caught them. They'd heard what had happened to poor Jim, and he'd just walked in on a simple kiss.

“Er...” neither Solas nor Dorian could make out legible words to explain either question.

“We were simply...” Cassandra swallowed hard, cheeks flaming as she avoided the gaze of Leliana and Josephine.

“Just gathering survey information for a new upcoming book, ladies, don't worry,” Varric saved them all, for the moment. But the look of relief on Solas and Cassandra was suspicion enough to give away their casual window-gawking.

“If they are out there kissing, and all of you are -” Josie gasped loudly as she and Leliana peeked through a seam in the curtain. She whirled around with wide eyes. “What are you – have you all been – and _Cassandra!”_ Josie shamed the Seeker. “Everybody go! Now!”

“But the show's not over!” Sera protested.

“I need to finish collecting this data for my book,” Varric insisted.

“I'm...his pants...” Dorian pointed, unable to finish.

“I...am aiding Varric. I will be proof-reading, but for this particular story I need prior context,” Solas forced his face straight.

“What? No! What is wrong with all of you!” Josie cried softly. “What happens if the other guests come gawking?! This could – this could _ruin_ the Inquisition!”

“But we do need to talk to the Commander. Perhaps we should wait?” Leliana peeked again.

“No! _Leliana! You, too?_ No!” Josie jerked the curtains closed. “Go! Off!” she shooed the five of them away. Josie remained behind through all the grumbling, making sure Sera, Dorian and Varric especially were out of sight.

A loud clap from flesh slapping flesh came from the other side of the window, followed by a feminine cry of pleasure. Telling herself she was only checking for…safety reasons, Josie allowed herself one little peek. The Commander sent his hand flying onto Trevelyan's bare hind cheek, and then pulled back far enough for Josie's face to flush as she watched Cullen's thick shaft drown inside the Inquisitor's centre.

“Enjoying the show?” A calm voice said in her ear. Josie spun with a gasp to see Varric walking by, a smirk breaking into a grin as he left the ambassador flushed from her own guilty pleasure.

**Author's Note:**

> Varric's commentating lines were paraphrased from Felandaris' story.


End file.
